where,s MAGUINNESS

The festive season is upon us once again.

It is the season of goodwill so ill try not to burden you with too much doom and gloom. No Christmas tree or crib in the village,whats going on at all at all. I know that the placement of both is always left to a few. A little bit of community spirit is all it takes.

Hopefully something will sprout up overnight. In the fifties and sixties the traditional xmass dinner was the home reared turkey or gooseTo pluck either was not a task too many would volunteer. The goose was more difficult but was nicer to eat and it served the local GAA club in the months to come A player with fluid on the ankle or knee was provided with the gooses seam to keep down the swelling. Whether it worked or not it is difficult to say.

In Cons bar on Sunday knight Ollie told one about a man in Ballyconnell who was plucking turkeys on the lead up to Christmas.He was fond of a drink and proceeded to the Woodford Bar from which he was barred.He asked for a pint and the barman refused.Ok says Brendan and he put his hands into his pockets and scattered a load of feathers up in the air The feathers fell into the customers drink and the barman had to replace all drinks.Brendan was half way up daisy hill at this time


The local post office is shortly to close its doors for the last time. Another land mark with village life Extinguished.Just a hint that I hope the community wont be found wanting in some little appreciation to the Farrell family for services provided down the years. I can recall my early visits to the late S Lane. On my way into town Seamus would shout across the street” come here I want you. Would you pay my ESB bill for me? Hows the tax man treating you.”Jasus im been squeezed like a lemon” On my way home I called with the receipt The door was then shut .I have a question I meant to ask you for a long time “What would it take to build a nice three bedroomed bungalow at the present time.Sheamus I said you would want the laying hen to be able to afford that at the present time.He caught the lower lip and says –im told shes not the answer either –if you come home some evening and your shirt is not washed or ironed –that’s when the trouble starts.

I was down your country last week for a drink in MC MAHONS Joe was there with his good white coat A good businessman?Are you not afraid of the car been highjacked on your way home “Jasus your not so slow ,I often thought of that. Next week as Terry was coming home by BALLYHAISE STATION a car arrives on his tail “Drive on for jasus sake says Sheamus. Shut your fnn mouth says Terry or ill put you out.Pension day was chaos with Sheamus –he prefered people to come in one by one. If people were talking he could not count the money he got flustered He wanted the sattellite dish tuned in. One thing that will still remain in the village when we are dead and gone is the is the crows in Boylans wood.

Enough of that auld balderdash. In my last piece I referred to the late memory man Ernie. After he consumed the full loaf in this house he asked the host for another mug of tae Ernie says “I was more thirsty than hungry”

In todays modern world its not the mug of tae but the bottle of chardonae.
Back on the subject of drink I hear Ian Paisley has become an alcoholic He,s running around Stormont shouting –where,s MAGUINNESS. Wishing everyone at home and afar a healthy happy xmas and we look forward to 2008. Please remember Ken Browne in your prayers as his funeral takes place in Fivemiletown Co Tyrone

to-day Breaking News ---There is a Christmas Tree About to be erected --- fair play to the crew